Would you say I do?

Whosthedaddy · Super Spammer Joined: 11 Dec 2005 Karma :

Nearly 2 years ago I got myself a job as a nurse working in the 3rd best hospital in the States Thumbs Up

It has taken a while to register to work in California, sending post backwards and forwards across the pond, then I had to pass(second time around) the entry exam.

I filed paper work for my Green card in the autumn, but the lawyers have contacted my Agent and said they would not be able to offer my GF a Green card as we are not married Thumbs Down

As I'm not prepared to break up (and leave my 2 year old behind) just for a job.

In order to qualify under my Green card, we could get married Embarassed

We have been together for 12 1/2 years, why get married now?

I am not really that happy to get married just as a means of getting the Green card.

Would anyone get married for a job?
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veeeffarr · Super Spammer Joined: 22 Jul 2004 Karma :

Why haven't you married her in the past?

I would say this is a very personal thing depending on your feelings of marriage.

It's something you both need to discuss together, if she's ok with it, and you are, then you can go for it obviously Smile

queen of string · World Chat Champion Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Karma :

this isnt just a job though its a whole new life isnt it ? your question is really "would you get married to realise your dream of living and working abroad" , in that case, yes , I would, in the circumstances you describe. Good luck
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map · Mr Calendar Joined: 14 Jun 2004 Karma :

As said above by QoS, for the right move, it's a lifestyle choice, not a just a job. However, FWIW California divorce law means a 50/50 split if it doesn't work out Wink

Best of luck Thumbs Up

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greatmoorred · Nearly there... Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Karma :

do it mate. If you have been together for 12 years then why not. You could get married and have the reception as a huge leaving party too. Then youre off for a new life.
have you discussed it with mrs whosthedaddy ?

Rookie · World Chat Champion Joined: 09 Feb 2005 Karma :

In your situation, yes. Why not? You've been together long enough. Do you not like the concept of marriage or something?

Talk it out with her, if she wants to get married to you, go for the full she-bang, if she isn't worried but wants to stay over there, have a civil ceremony and go on like normal! Laughing

Whosthedaddy · Super Spammer Joined: 11 Dec 2005 Karma :

To be honest I cant really remember the reason for not getting married Embarassed

I dont see how marriage changes anything? I understand it offers security for my loved one and son etc, but to me its just a piece of paper Confused

My GF is gagging for it, and has caused many arguments along the lines of 'why dont you love me....', 'why wont you show me any commitment?'. We've been together for such a long time, what more shows commitment?
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Rookie · World Chat Champion Joined: 09 Feb 2005 Karma :

Thin ice then. Laughing

If you jump straight in now, she'll think you're only doing it because of the Green card. If you don't, she'll get booted.

I'd say talk it out, tell her it doesn't mean much to you, but if it helps you keep the life you have and gives her some security, you'll happily do it.

That's if you want to. Razz

colin1 · Captain Safety Joined: 17 Feb 2005 Karma :

I think you shd do it so you can take her to america however be careful in what reasons you give to her for getting married.

For example. I knew a guy who was very well paid and is gf wasnt, he paid a lot less tax by marrying her as income tax when married works on your combined income rather than individual incomes.

I mentioned this to another guy in a similar position and he then proposed to his girlfriend explaining why. If he hadnt explained why, she may well have said yes but she wanted someone to marry her because they loved her and wanted to be with her forever. To be told to marry someone as a tax break was a big insult to her and she left him.

So when suggesting to your girlfriend you wanna get married, stress the romantic aspect aswell as the obvious practical reason.
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map · Mr Calendar Joined: 14 Jun 2004 Karma :

bazza · World Chat Champion Joined: 27 Aug 2004 Karma :

12 years? Feh. I've spent longer than that waiting outside shoe shops... Rolling Eyes

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Whosthedaddy · Super Spammer Joined: 11 Dec 2005 Karma :

bazza · World Chat Champion Joined: 27 Aug 2004 Karma :

Reevo8 · World Chat Champion Joined: 30 Jun 2004 Karma :

Hmm, 2 year old kiddy, have been with the GF for 12.5 years. Why not get dressed up, make her dreams come true, make your work dreams come true. Sign a peice of paper and have a weeks honeymoon and a whole load of sex?

Look, you are pretty much a married couple anyway. It seems that if you are not willing to give the marraige thing a go then it would seem you are wanting to split up some time in the future and as such if you say you wont marry her much more as there is no point she will become pissed off and dissapear elsewhere!
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