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Getting rid of my housemate tomorrow night (14th) - ideas?

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FreshAL
Sir Crashalot



Joined: 04 Jul 2005
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PostPosted: 15:20 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Getting rid of my housemate tomorrow night (14th) - ideas? Reply with quote

I want to spend tomorrow night with my girlfriend (I wanna get me some lovin' Cool )

so, how do I get rid of my housemate for the evening? No, I can't bury him under the patio, I need him to pay rent.

Any better ideas than giving him a tenner an telling him to sod off down the pub?

Karma for any cheaper (free) ideas
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cyberglass
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Joined: 28 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: 15:26 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hide all his documents like id cards ect then go down to the local phone box and report him as a burglar. He will get arrested spend the night in the nick trying to prove who he is then you can bail him in the morniing Mr. Green

Or

Give him sleeping pills and hide him in the cupboard.
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Mr.Everready
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PostPosted: 15:26 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your girlfriend might fancy a 3some, then you won't need to throw him out at all. Thumbs Up
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byke95
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PostPosted: 15:33 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Er, why not tell him the following:

"Listen mate, I want a quite night in with the missus, any chance you can go somewhere for the evening?"

Honesty is free and is usually the best policy!

(my old flat mate did this, we did the good bit and went out no problems. We weren't happy to come back and find a wet patch on the lounge sofa! Sick )

Good luck! Thumbs Up
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distortion
Nearly there...



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PostPosted: 15:38 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tell him if he sods off out you owe him one
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McGee
O RLY?



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PostPosted: 15:44 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Get him as stoned as possible, cover his head and drive him 100 miles away spin him round in circles ..... drive away Wink
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Its pronounced Jixxer!
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byke95
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PostPosted: 15:51 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

McGee wrote:
Get him as stoned as possible, cover his head and drive him 100 miles away spin him round in circles ..... drive away Wink


Is that how you ended up in the States McGee? Razz
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numark1
Scared of girls



Joined: 10 May 2004
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PostPosted: 15:56 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

What is it with mcgee and the Wink emotion. Laughing

A typical mcgee post

..............for the win Wink

Very Happy
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Skunkcap Freddie
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Joined: 20 Oct 2005
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PostPosted: 16:19 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

i've an idea.


how about you ask him to make himself disappear for a few hours. and offer him a few quid to do so.

nothing better than directly asking someone instead of throwing silly hints.
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Mr.Everready
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PostPosted: 16:21 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Any better ideas than giving him a tenner an telling him to sod off down the pub?


Quote:
how about you ask him to make himself disappear for a few hours. and offer him a few quid to do so.


Spot on idea m8 Thumbs Up Laughing
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EuropeanNC30R...
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PostPosted: 17:02 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

A tenner won't last long, give him a twenty.
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syl
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PostPosted: 17:16 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Re: Getting rid of my housemate tomorrow night (14th) - idea Reply with quote

FreshAL wrote:
I want to spend tomorrow night with my girlfriend (I wanna get me some lovin' Cool )

so, how do I get rid of my housemate for the evening? No, I can't bury him under the patio, I need him to pay rent.

Any better ideas than giving him a tenner an telling him to sod off down the pub?

Karma for any cheaper (free) ideas


I take it he's single, so:

    1) Set him up with a bird (who's got her own place).

    2) Pretend you've set him up with a bird that he really likes at a restaurant miles away (one that's going to take him ages to get back from when he realises she isn't turning up).

    3) Just stuff him some cash and tell him to go enjoy himself down the local lapdancing club.

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steveh
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PostPosted: 18:53 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

or tell him youl set him up with your bird if he farks off out for 10 mins Very Happy


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McGee
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PostPosted: 19:23 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

byke95 wrote:
McGee wrote:
Get him as stoned as possible, cover his head and drive him 100 miles away spin him round in circles ..... drive away Wink


Is that how you ended up in the States McGee? Razz


Sadly yes Laughing Shocked

Damn Mark for the win Wink
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Its pronounced Jixxer!
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NSR125-Kid-UK
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PostPosted: 20:39 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Re: Getting rid of my housemate tomorrow night (14th) - idea Reply with quote

FreshAL wrote:
Any better ideas than giving him a tenner an telling him to sod off down the pub?


The tenner Idea works for me, every time he keeps me awake by waiting until I go to bed to start what sounds like a f££%ing standup comedy/tap dancing routine Evil or Very Mad Middle Finger @ Nick.
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The Tot
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PostPosted: 20:50 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

spunk on his eyes to blind him and give him a blow up doll - you may want to record some stuff off sound boards lol so u can hear him in the next room nobbing a blow up doll saying in a butch arnie voice "Who is your daddy and what does he do?"
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colin1
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PostPosted: 21:17 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

ask him to be out cos u are having a bird in. say that you will do the same for him when he gets a bird in for the night.

If he is unlikely to get a bird in for the night, he may be unwilling to admit this. If he does admit it, you mayhave a problem.
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DrJustice
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PostPosted: 21:24 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Re: Getting rid of my housemate tomorrow night (14th) - idea Reply with quote

FreshAL wrote:
I want to spend tomorrow night with my girlfriend (I wanna get me some lovin' Cool )

so, how do I get rid of my housemate for the evening? No, I can't bury him under the patio, I need him to pay rent.

Any better ideas than giving him a tenner an telling him to sod off down the pub?

Karma for any cheaper (free) ideas


drug or poison him then lock him in his bedroom ,remove his mobile first Thumbs Up

Or just start kissing and touching each other in front of him he will most likely bugger off on his on steam Razz
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mr.z
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PostPosted: 21:27 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Let him know theres going to be extreemly loud sex noises, and not to leave his room if he dosn't want to get covered in coleslaw..
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Irezumi aka Reuben
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PostPosted: 21:29 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

In a fit of madness I've come up with a daring but possible soloution.

Ask him politely if he could go out tomorrow evening as you'd like to spend a romantic night in with your partner. Rolling Eyes
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ginguar
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Joined: 19 Feb 2005
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PostPosted: 21:37 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Convince him that tomorrow night is a great night to go out on the pull because only the single (and desperate) women will be out.
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Flip
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PostPosted: 21:38 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Reuben wrote:
Ask him politely if he could go out tomorrow evening as you'd like to spend a romantic night in with your partner. Rolling Eyes


You're f***ed in the head, man.
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Villers
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PostPosted: 21:42 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bit radical but.... How about you tie a pink ribbon round your nob and stand there completely starkers when he comes home from work. announce his arrival with 'here comes my real valentine' and make a beeline for him. Any bonafide bloke should leg it and not come back for a good few hours and even then I bet he will come in quietly and never mention it again. Laughing

On the other hand just lock him out or ask him nicely to do one. He might have even made plans to go out anyway, have you asked him? Thinking

Wink
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jok
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PostPosted: 22:04 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Depending on how you get on with him, I'd also vote for the honest approach: just tell him you'd really like some time alone.

If you don't get on with him, he will try something "funny" to ruin it (in which case, just go somewhere else; no really).

If you do get on with him, he'll understand and take the hint for a night.
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plugger147
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PostPosted: 22:20 - 13 Feb 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Board up all the downstairs windows and doors.get a rope ladder to throw down to your girlfriend when she arrives. Laughing (make sure he's out before you start boarding. Laughing )
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