A wedding question..

[JodieWodie]

No, not me. I would never

Anyway.. my friend, a good friend from work in fact, is getting married in a few months time.
Now, it was always assumed I was going to the 'day do'.
The chats, the giggles, the convos, the hen night chat.. I am even making her hen night veil !!

So, thing is... I found out this evening that I am not invited to the 'day do' as I have a child, and no kids are invited.
I feel, to say the least, gutted.

I know it's petty, and I know people have a lot of stress on their shoulders organising weddings, but we are quite close, or so I thought, and I can't share this day with her.

Just feel a bit deflated. Has anyone ever been left out of someones wedding plans ? How can I reason this out in my mind ?
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[www.125power.com]

can't you get a babysitter that way you can go, guess i would feel a bit pissed off not being invited to my best mates wedding like.......
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[biker-dj]

Can't say it's happened to me - maybe cos I'm a bloke but all the same I feel gutted for you, does seem a bit of a strange excuse 'no kids' hope the bride to be has a re-think
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[JodieWodie]

[biker-dj]

[JodieWodie]

[biker-dj]

I aim to please But seriously, my step-daughter is getting married in May, it's always a tense time, and not without it's problems, it will be the first time I will have met my wife's ex-husband and without going into too much detail, he's not the sort of bloke you could be friendly to if you get my drift, but for the sake of my step daughter - I've got to button that lip
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[True Blue]

You've got to remember that while she might want to invite everyone she considers a friend, these do's are expensive. Some people will inevitably feel left out, it's always the case.
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[akaDAVE]

You don't really want to go to the boring part anyway. All I have heard about weddings from other people is greif, stress, expense and emotional dillemas over who to invite etc.

Fuck that.

I'm sure I've heard from a girl at work that it is common practice(or a new fad) whereby people with kids aren't invited so that they aren't obligated to get babysitters or worse - bring their loud kids.

Don't take it to heart, just think - it would be worse if they invited you to the 'day bit' and then asked you to leave afterwards!
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[Barry_M2]

We never invited our work mates to our actually wedding, just the evening. Even though a few of them I do consider close friends.

It was family and friends only at ours during the day. You have to realise that they will have a limit / budget to get in the church (or where ever it may be) and also for the meal.

I think its pretty silly of you to just 'expect' to be invited to be honest.

[zephyrgirl]

I got married last year and there was no way I would've banned children, even if I could have.
My sister in law actually had a baby 2 days before the wedding so there was an extra guest on the list!

I also had to have limited numbers for the wedding breakfast and so the list had to be culled to just family and 2 or 3 close friends.
But I was able to have more guests at the actual ceremony.

They could sit/stand near the back and although they weren't able to be acommodated at the sit down meal they were able to witness the most important aspect of the day, the exchanging of vows.

I think that if the couple invite guests with children it should be on the understanding that if they start throwing tantrums and screaming the place down during the ceremony, Mum or Dad will discretly take the little darling out of earshot.

I think if you would really love to be present you could tentatively ask if there is space for you to stand about at the ceremony, possibly without your little ones. Then she wouldn't feel under pressure to invite you to the (let's face it - expensive) meal.

But if it doesn't work out, just do as everyone else has advised and have a ball at the evening do!

Try not to think of it as a personal snub, she may be under pressure from her family to invite Great Auntie Doris at the expense of bumping some of her friends of the invite list.

Have a great Hen night!
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[akaDAVE]

[Harold_Shand]

I think people say 'No Kids' because it means everyone can get pissed. I think the idea is to get a baby sitter for the day and get wankered and not have to worry about the sprog.
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Harold_Shand's theory might be the best explanation.

[xlizx]

Ask her about it? If the kids thing really is the heart of the problem then tell her you can get a sitter if she wants you there. If not, then maybe hink twice about the way you're dealing with her wedding? Sounds like you've really gone outta your way, making the veil and all....you've been what I'd see as considerate, so leaving you out, regardless of numbers, is a bit insulting considering the effort you've been prepared to put in for her.
Or alternatively, tell her you're hiring a clown as entertainment in the evening, and bring Flip along. That'll guarantee laughs!

[Kwaks]

Don't worry about it,my wedding was friends and family at the service and meal and workmates all invited to evening. Kids thing a misnomer,prob just trying to save your feelings. Think of her position if she only has space for 1 or 2 more people and she invites you, it would prob put a few noses out of joint at work with other colleagues. The day is about her and families uniting. The night is about fun. Tell her you have got a babysitter for that day and ask what time the service is as you would like to see her coming out of church to get some photos, then she will invite into service if possible but won't feel pressured into it.

[Katie]

Aw Jodie, that's a bit crap hun!

I agree though, spend the day getting yourself ready and look fab! If it really is bothering you, then ask her about it. Tell her you feel a bit hurt and that you having a child really won't affect you spending time with her on the day in question.

If you get answer to this that's out of order and you don't like, then please do wear white to her wedding. Complete with old, new, borrowed and blue accessories, garter, ring, and even that veil you made her. Muhaha.
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[carlnicholson...]

I'm getting married in July, and the whole thing is a pain in the arse to be honest!

We are restricting the invitations to the 'day do' because they also come to the meal after, which frankly is costing a fortune.

What we are doing instead is inviting people to either the whole day (the sit down meal), or just the night, but anyone with a night invitation are welcome to come along to the church and watch if they wish.

Seems to have pleased everyone.
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