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mr.z |
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mr.z World Chat Champion
Joined: 04 Feb 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 16:30 - 22 Feb 2006 Post subject: Funeral fun... |
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Tomorrow is my grandads funeral, despite my grandparents living 10minutes walking distance ive not seen them for 10 years (possibly more) 10 years ago my mum just stopped making the effort (dont think they have ever been to our house ever, certainly not in my lifetime), i never got cards for birthdays and all that rubbish (not that i'd been even remotely interested), one occasion long ago my dad was talking about me for one reason or another and my grandad couldn't remember my name, and just couldn't be arsed to try and remember, gave up and changed the subject.. theres much more unrelated to me but wont go into that..
Its not really bothered me, its just one of those things, my dads parents died long before i was arround, just accepted not having grandparents..
Now heres the thing.. my parents want me to go to the funeral... and to be quite frank i couldn't be less interested, in fact it would make me a hypocrite, i'm not sure i could stand there like an idiot with a blank expression... it would just be very very wrong imo..
Why is it when you drop dead that everyone who couldn't give a shit before, suddenly you've become this great person everybody liked and will miss loads and loads? I'd be roaly pissed off if people i didn't like or care about being there spouting bullshit about how much they liked you..
Just wondered what people thought, allready decided what i'm going to do.
(I'm not after sympathy whatsoever, i know people who have parents separated or dead even dieing, any of which are infinitely worse.. so its really not all that much of a big deal...)
For anyone who read this far thanks for reading and apologies for the slight rantyness.. ____________________ >RidingSkills<->Tech Tips<->MyBikes< |
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BanditBitch |
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BanditBitch World Chat Champion
Joined: 03 Sep 2005 Karma :
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www.125power.com |
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www.125power.com Crazy Courier
Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Karma :
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Posted: 17:04 - 22 Feb 2006 Post subject: |
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If you think they would have gone to your funeral because they "wanted" to then go if not dont........just my view on the situation, not going could cause friction with other family members, no -one can make you go.... ____________________ My eBay Items |
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Visitor Q |
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Visitor Q $25 whore
Joined: 30 Apr 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 17:23 - 22 Feb 2006 Post subject: |
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Everyone loves you when you're dead.
All this diana nonsense, that brazilian thief who got shot etc.
If it were me, i wouldnt go. But it depends if your mum would need your support? ____________________ China traffic/travel bike vid - When I make a sweeping statement, please add the word 'statistically' in to the sentence before you bitch...
From September 2014 to January/February 2015 I will not be using any English, nor reading any. As such, I won't be on here. PM at will, but I won't be checking/posting unless in emergencies. Certainly not for the first couple of months. Please berate me savagely if I break that rule... |
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Mrs Kickstart |
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Mrs Kickstart Brolly Dolly
Joined: 06 Apr 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 17:23 - 22 Feb 2006 Post subject: |
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Hi,
The only reasons to go are, becasue you care about the person that has died (which does not appear to be the case). Or because someone you do care about would be upset if you do not.
If your parents would be upset if you do not go then I would consider it.
It could be your parents are suddenly regretting that they did not see him before they died (I assume it was a classic family row). If they want to go they may just be looking for support on a difficult occasion.
It up to you in the end but what does it cost you to go ?
Regards
C ____________________ Help fight the safety camera partnerships -- www.pepipoo.com |
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casadunc |
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casadunc Two Stroke Sniffer
Joined: 30 Jan 2006 Karma :
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mr.z |
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mr.z World Chat Champion
Joined: 04 Feb 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 02:32 - 23 Feb 2006 Post subject: |
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Thanks for the replys all, very much appreicated
You know the sickest thing, the only time theres a family gathering is when somebody dies ____________________ >RidingSkills<->Tech Tips<->MyBikes< |
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Steve H |
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Steve H World Chat Champion
Joined: 18 Oct 2003 Karma :
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Posted: 09:12 - 23 Feb 2006 Post subject: |
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mr.z wrote: | You know the sickest thing, the only time theres a family gathering is when somebody dies |
That's just life mr.z, it's just the way of the world that people will all get together at events like these.
Outside of funerals, christenings and marriages, relatives who you might not see socially have their own lives to lead, their own circle of friends, their own hobbies, etc and so do you. You might not have anything in common with them at all other than a link via your family tree so it stands to reason that it's doubtful that you're gonna see them outside of family gatherings.
Personally if I were asked by my parents to go then I would, it's not really a day where you can give your own feelings too much thought - to use a terrible cliche it's about 'the bigger picture' - ie how your decision will affect the day and your family's opinion of you. If you go then I suspect your attendance won't be given too much thought other than people naturally showing their regret for your loss (whether you feel it or not). If you abstain then the 'story' of the day could be your non attendance. That could lead to ill feeling from some relatives towards you and maybe your parents for not insisting on your presence on such a poignant day.
It's terribly sad that you have to make this type of decision however I believe that it is a time when family does come first and respect (for the want of a better word) for that old fashioned institution is paramount.
____________________ Mellow Yellow
The BCF Top TEN - 2010, 2009, 2008, The Original. |
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BIKELESS STEVE |
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BIKELESS STEVE Scooby Slapper
Joined: 19 Mar 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 13:37 - 23 Feb 2006 Post subject: |
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I was in the same situation 2 months ago with my Grandad. Seen him 3 or 4 times in my life and only when WE went to see them.
My nan comitted suicide and he blamed my dad for 'being born' - (post natal depression) - Dad decided he was going to go (having only found out he'd died from someone in his local
Stood a few rows back from front, No-one talked to us but glad I went in the end, it's only an hour or so and once it's over it's over. Your parents will appreciate having someone there |
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anders |
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anders Banned
Joined: 17 Sep 2005 Karma :
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carlnicholson... |
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carlnicholson... World Chat Champion
Joined: 13 Mar 2005 Karma :
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Posted: 03:39 - 25 Feb 2006 Post subject: |
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Nice to pay your respects, as they were, essentially, a family member. How you choose to do this, however, is entirely up to you.
Attending the funeral is one option, or simply fucking off to the pub and raising your pint at the bar is another.
Don't feel forced to do something you don't agree with. Just do waht YOU feel you need to do. ____________________ "THOSE WHO RISK NOTHING, DO NOTHING, ACHIEVE NOTHING, BECOME NOTHING." |
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colin1 |
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colin1 Captain Safety
Joined: 17 Feb 2005 Karma :
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NSR125-Kid-UK |
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NSR125-Kid-UK Attention Whore
Joined: 03 May 2003 Karma :
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Posted: 22:15 - 25 Feb 2006 Post subject: |
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When people die, their everyday lives become enshrined in importance and gravitas.
"That's bob's favourite snooker cue, handle it with care"
"This's mark's favourite road, let's go here for a pilgrimage one day"...
When you're dead, you're a thousand times the person you ever were when you were alive. Every thing, every stupid thing that you didn't mean, that you say, becomes gospel. All your little habits become traditions - just like the "good old days"...
Life is for the living and it took me a long time to realise that.
Look at the funeral for what it is, not what it represents. ____________________ https://www.bikepics.com/members/nsrandy/96rs250/ My Bike!
"I'm either going to teach andy to get his knee down, or I'm going to get him killed. One of the two" - Teaman |
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Brava210 |
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Brava210 Crazy Courier
Joined: 04 Dec 2005 Karma :
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Posted: 22:47 - 25 Feb 2006 Post subject: |
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I think you know what to do . ____________________ Honda Novio, Puch Grand Prix, Suzuki AP50, CZ 125, Wassell 125, Montesa 348,Honda 125TDC, Suzuki 100ER, Suzuki GSF650 Bandit, Aprillia Pegaso, Honda PCX125, Honda Forza300, BMW G310 GS, Suzuki SFV650, Honda CB500X
CHARLEY SAYS " ALWAYS TELL YOUR MUMMY BEFORE YOU GO OFF SOMEWHERE" |
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Old Thread Alert!
The last post was made 18 years, 97 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful? |
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