Funeral fun...

[mr.z]

Tomorrow is my grandads funeral, despite my grandparents living 10minutes walking distance ive not seen them for 10 years (possibly more) 10 years ago my mum just stopped making the effort (dont think they have ever been to our house ever, certainly not in my lifetime), i never got cards for birthdays and all that rubbish (not that i'd been even remotely interested), one occasion long ago my dad was talking about me for one reason or another and my grandad couldn't remember my name, and just couldn't be arsed to try and remember, gave up and changed the subject.. theres much more unrelated to me but wont go into that..

Its not really bothered me, its just one of those things, my dads parents died long before i was arround, just accepted not having grandparents..

Now heres the thing.. my parents want me to go to the funeral... and to be quite frank i couldn't be less interested, in fact it would make me a hypocrite, i'm not sure i could stand there like an idiot with a blank expression... it would just be very very wrong imo..

Why is it when you drop dead that everyone who couldn't give a shit before, suddenly you've become this great person everybody liked and will miss loads and loads? I'd be roaly pissed off if people i didn't like or care about being there spouting bullshit about how much they liked you..


Just wondered what people thought, allready decided what i'm going to do.

(I'm not after sympathy whatsoever, i know people who have parents separated or dead even dieing, any of which are infinitely worse.. so its really not all that much of a big deal...)

For anyone who read this far thanks for reading and apologies for the slight rantyness..
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[BanditBitch]

[www.125power.com]

If you think they would have gone to your funeral because they "wanted" to then go if not dont........just my view on the situation, not going could cause friction with other family members, no -one can make you go....
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[Visitor Q]

Everyone loves you when you're dead.

All this diana nonsense, that brazilian thief who got shot etc.

If it were me, i wouldnt go. But it depends if your mum would need your support?
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[Mrs Kickstart]

Hi,

The only reasons to go are, becasue you care about the person that has died (which does not appear to be the case). Or because someone you do care about would be upset if you do not.

If your parents would be upset if you do not go then I would consider it.

It could be your parents are suddenly regretting that they did not see him before they died (I assume it was a classic family row). If they want to go they may just be looking for support on a difficult occasion.

It up to you in the end but what does it cost you to go ?

Regards
C
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[casadunc]

Hi.

I was in a similar position 2 years ago when my gran died. I couldn't stand the woman and she couldn't stand me.

My Dad was very upset so I attended or his sake, although I didn't really want to.

I think if she was aware I was there, which i doubt, she would have known I was not there for her benefit.

My Dad appreciated the effort I had made. He knew how I felt.

Hope everything goes ok for you which ever way you decide to go.

Caz

[mr.z]

Thanks for the replys all, very much appreicated

You know the sickest thing, the only time theres a family gathering is when somebody dies
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[Steve H]

[BIKELESS STEVE]

I was in the same situation 2 months ago with my Grandad. Seen him 3 or 4 times in my life and only when WE went to see them.
My nan comitted suicide and he blamed my dad for 'being born' - (post natal depression) - Dad decided he was going to go (having only found out he'd died from someone in his local
Stood a few rows back from front, No-one talked to us but glad I went in the end, it's only an hour or so and once it's over it's over. Your parents will appreciate having someone there

[anders]

[carlnicholson...]

Nice to pay your respects, as they were, essentially, a family member. How you choose to do this, however, is entirely up to you.

Attending the funeral is one option, or simply fucking off to the pub and raising your pint at the bar is another.

Don't feel forced to do something you don't agree with. Just do waht YOU feel you need to do.
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[colin1]

i think turning up to the funeral is more about keeping up appearances.

My grandma was pretty unpopular in our family but wasnt too bad if you only saw her once every few months. I wish I had gone round a bit more before she got ill and then died. I wasnt really into hanging out with grandma though.

I think if you go to the funeral, remember its something you are doing for your mum not your grandma. If you like your mum and want to keep her happy, you might as well go.

If you arent bothered about annoying your mum dont go. Even if she didnt get on with her mum, it will be hard for her to lose her. It a bit like losing what could have been.

I thought I was a bit cold not seeing by gran for a year or so at times, but i would have felt a bit guilty of doing ten years. Your family makes ours seem close by comparison.
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When people die, their everyday lives become enshrined in importance and gravitas.
"That's bob's favourite snooker cue, handle it with care"
"This's mark's favourite road, let's go here for a pilgrimage one day"...

When you're dead, you're a thousand times the person you ever were when you were alive. Every thing, every stupid thing that you didn't mean, that you say, becomes gospel. All your little habits become traditions - just like the "good old days"...

Life is for the living and it took me a long time to realise that.
Look at the funeral for what it is, not what it represents.
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I think you know what to do .
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